The difference between women and a beer.....
My apologies to the women I offend out there who are reading these jokes: I didn't make 'em, I only display 'em.
• You can enjoy a beer all month. •
• Beer stains wash out. •
• You don't have to wine and dine a beer. •
• Your beer will always wait patiently for you in the car. •
• When beer goes flat you toss it out. •
• Beer is never late. •
• HANGOVERS go away. •
• A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer. •
• Beer labels come off without a fight. •
• When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a beer. •
• Beer never has a headache. •
• After you have a beer, the bottle is still worth a dime. •
• A beer won't get upset if you come home with beer on your breath. •
• If you pour a beer right, you will always get good head. •
• You can have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty. •
• A beer ALWAYS goes down easy. •
• You can share a beer with your friends. •
• You always know that you are the first one to pop a beer. •
• A beer is always wet. •
• Your friends think you're cool when they see you with a big, fat beer. •
• Beer doesn't demand equality. •
• A beer doesn't care when you come. •
• You can have a beer in public. •
• A frigid beer is a good beer. •
• You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good. •
• Beer always comes in multiples of six. •
• Beer doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that IT left. •
• You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a beer. •
• After you have a beer, you're committed to nothing other than dumping the empty bottle. •
• A beer never costs you more than five dollars and never leaves you thirsty. •
• When your beer is gone, you just pop another. •
• You rarely (if ever) find beer labels on the shower curtain rod. •
• Beer looks the same in the morning. •
• Beer doesn't look you up in a month. •
• Beer doesn't worry about someone walking in. •
• Beer doesn't worry about waking the kids. •
• Beer doesn't get cramps. •
• Beer doesn't have a mother. •
• Beer doesn't have morals. •
• Beer doesn't go crazy once a month. •
• Beer always listens and never argues. •
• Beer labels don't go out of style every year. •
• Beer doesn't whine, it bubbles. •
• Beer doesn't have cold hands/feet. •
• Beer doesn't demand legality. •
• Beer is never overweight. •
• If you change beers, you don't have to pay alimony. •
• Beer won't run off with your credit cards. •
• Beer doesn't have a lawyer. •
• Beer doesn't need much closet space. •
• Beer can't give your herpes or other nasty things. •
• Beer doesn't complain about the way you drive. •
• Beer doesn't mind if you fart or belch. •
• Beer never changes its mind. •
• Beer doesn't tease you or play hard to get. •
• Beer never asks you to change the station. •
• Beer doesn't make you go shopping. •
• Beer doesn't tell you to mow the grass. •
• Beer doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks. •
• Beer is always easy to pick up. •
• Big, fat beers are nice to have. •
• Beer doesn't pout or play games. •
• Beer NEVER says no. •
• Beer is easy to get into. •
• Beer never complains when you take it somewhere. •
• Beer doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other beers. •
• Beer doesn't wear a bra. •
• Beer doesn't mind getting dirty. •
• Beer doesn't complain about insensitivity. •
• Beer doesn't use up your toilet paper. •
• Beer doesn't live with its mother. •
• Beer doesn't blow you off. •
• Beer doesn't care if you have no culture or manners. •
• Beer doesn't bitch, yell, or cry. •
• Beer doesn't mind football season.•
For those of you under 21 and can't seem to get anyone to buy you beer; hey, at least there's women.....
